What Would Help My Marriage?

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Last week was a crazy one in terms of marriage and sex talk by famous pastors. Ed Stetzer did his usual excellent analysis on the information that came out and you can read that here. (I love Ed. He's one of those rare helpful people who wants to help churches of just about any denomination get better at the Great Commission - including Methodists like me. Thank you, Ed, for your kingdom focus!) I don't want to comment on everything in the post, just something that stuck out to me about pastor Ed Young's upcoming bed-in.


The bed-in is supposed to draw attention to Ed and his wife Lisa's new book Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse. I've not read the book yet. I might not because, believe it or not, I feel a little over-sexed by the culture both inside and outside the church. My wife and I enjoy each other and feel practically no inhibition in our bedroom. I'd say that some of the safest and carefree times of our relationship together are when we, to borrow a phrase from Tommy Nelson's Song of Solomon series, renew our marriage covenant. When I look at our relationship and think about deepening our intimacy, sex isn't where we need the most work.


Are we the odd couple within American Christian churches?


What would really deepen our intimacy with one another?


I know the answer to that and I want to trot this thought out there for people who might be thinking, "You know, sex really isn't our problem." Let me entice you to read a blog post that I'm about to link by providing a snippet from a comment left at that particular blog: "I will say that few things make me feel more loved and cared for by my husband than when he___". Now, how would you fill in that blank? How would your spouse fill in that blank? As I judge a book by its cover, Pastor Ed might tell you that sex is the key. While that is important to a marriage, what might turn out to be the most underrated key to lasting intimacy is prayer. (Pastors you should definitely read this post by Brian Croft about praying with your spouse. It's where I took the comment I mentioned).


You want to try something that will increase your vulnerability? Want to really lay yourself bare and naked before the one to whom you have pledged to love and serve "till death do us part"? Want to increase intimacy and, hey, maybe even improve your sex life because you have an even greater connection and commitment to one another? Pray together.


Sure, you expect me to say that. I'm a pastor. I think you should pray. I'm also a gigantic hypocrite because that is one of the biggest weaknesses in my own marriage and I've made a commitment to destroy that weakness. Since that barrier to intimacy is on my mind, sure, I'm thinking a lot about how prayer can contribute to intimacy with my wife. Maybe it would help you, too.

The Preacher's Danger

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C.S. Lewis, An Experiment in Criticism
I am thinking of unfortunate scholars in foreign universities who cannot 'hold down their jobs' unless they repeatedly publish articles each of which must say, or seem to say, something new about some literary work; or of overworked reviewers, getting through novel after novel as quickly as they can, like a schoolboy doing his 'prep'. For such people reading often becomes mere work. The text before them comes to exist not in its own right but simply as raw material; clay out of which they can complete their tale of bricks.

This is what Bible reading has become for many of us and it is a soul killer. What does it profit a preacher to mine a bunch of alliterated sermon ideas yet forfeit the Word of life waiting for us if we would only linger?

Christmas Eve

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On Christmas Eve, before our candlelight service, I’m listening to the BBC broadcast A Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols. It's stuff like this that really makes me want to be an Anglican.

From the Bidding Prayer:
And because this of all things would rejoice his heart, let us at this time remember in his name the poor and the helpless, the cold, the hungry and the oppressed; the sick in body and in mind and them that mourn; the lonely and the unloved; the aged and the little children; all who know not the Lord Jesus, or who love him not, or who by sin have grieved his heart of love.

Lastly let us remember before God all those who rejoice with us, but upon another shore and in a greater light, that multitude which no man can number, whose hope was in the Word made flesh, and with whom, in this Lord Jesus, we for evermore are one.

Service Sheet here
Via

Merry Christmas!

How Efficient is Your Bible Reading?

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Hopefully, it's inefficient. Alastair is one of the smartest people I've never met and has played an important role in my Bible reading in the last few years by turning me onto some pretty amazing Bible teachers (even if they're Calvinists).

His post reminds me of a line from Alan Jacobs' book The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction:
If most of us read too fast, most of us also read too many books and are unwisely reluctant to return to something we think we already know.

I'll Pray for You

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The title of this post is probably one of the biggest lies told in the church. You're talking with someone who is in the middle of a rough season. She mentions that her grandson is having surgery on Wednesday. You say, "I'll pray for him." Wednesday comes and goes, you see this woman in the grocery store on Friday and think, "Oh no! I said I'd pray and I didn't! Jesus, please let this prayer for her grandson be retroactive. Amen!"

If you're wondering how I was able to take a peek into your past and see accurately it's because I've done it, too. I've had that sinking feeling of knowing I promised to pray but forgot to. I've even developed a habit of not even offering to pray in the future because I know I won't remember to pray even if I write it down.

Until now. Pastoral care, meet iOS 5.

I'm a shameless Apple shill. No doubt. I like things that have a low frustration factor and I can count my frustrating Apple moments on one hand.

But this isn't really about Apple. It's about how easy it is to set a reminder to pray for someone using iOS 5 with Reminders. There's probably always been some workaround to this, but I find Reminders incredibly easy. For instance, I promised to pray for some folks Saturday morning when I'll be out of town. In the past, I'd have a 98% chance of forgetting. This time, however, I set a Reminder for Saturday morning at 10AM.



Boom! Now I know I'll remember to pray.

It's 100 Degrees Outside

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For a number of reasons I have neglected to write as often as I set out to when I restarted this blog. Mostly because, doggoneit, ministry has been hectic. Here’s three links while I try to polish up some things I’ve been writing and haven’t edited yet.

For Future Reference

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The Gospel Coalition is running a 5-part series on depression in the ministry. The first two are available and I'm going to link them here as well as the next three when they come out.

This is a very real issue and many times we pastors do not seek out the kind of confiding, accountable relationships that would be of great benefit to us for one reason or another. I'm convinced that many pastors slide into depression because we internalize so much and do not share it with anyone for one reason or another.

Part 1 by Paul Tripp (who looks like the older, Christian version of Ron Swanson)

Part 2 by Garrett Higbee

Part 3 by Steve Viars