What Would Help My Marriage?
Last week was a crazy one in terms of marriage and sex talk by famous pastors. Ed Stetzer did his usual excellent analysis on the information that came out and you can read that here. (I love Ed. He's one of those rare helpful people who wants to help churches of just about any denomination get better at the Great Commission - including Methodists like me. Thank you, Ed, for your kingdom focus!) I don't want to comment on everything in the post, just something that stuck out to me about pastor Ed Young's upcoming bed-in.
The bed-in is supposed to draw attention to Ed and his wife Lisa's new book Sexperiment: 7 Days to Lasting Intimacy with Your Spouse. I've not read the book yet. I might not because, believe it or not, I feel a little over-sexed by the culture both inside and outside the church. My wife and I enjoy each other and feel practically no inhibition in our bedroom. I'd say that some of the safest and carefree times of our relationship together are when we, to borrow a phrase from Tommy Nelson's Song of Solomon series, renew our marriage covenant. When I look at our relationship and think about deepening our intimacy, sex isn't where we need the most work.
Are we the odd couple within American Christian churches?
What would really deepen our intimacy with one another?
I know the answer to that and I want to trot this thought out there for people who might be thinking, "You know, sex really isn't our problem." Let me entice you to read a blog post that I'm about to link by providing a snippet from a comment left at that particular blog: "I will say that few things make me feel more loved and cared for by my husband than when he___". Now, how would you fill in that blank? How would your spouse fill in that blank? As I judge a book by its cover, Pastor Ed might tell you that sex is the key. While that is important to a marriage, what might turn out to be the most underrated key to lasting intimacy is prayer. (Pastors you should definitely read this post by Brian Croft about praying with your spouse. It's where I took the comment I mentioned).
You want to try something that will increase your vulnerability? Want to really lay yourself bare and naked before the one to whom you have pledged to love and serve "till death do us part"? Want to increase intimacy and, hey, maybe even improve your sex life because you have an even greater connection and commitment to one another? Pray together.
Sure, you expect me to say that. I'm a pastor. I think you should pray. I'm also a gigantic hypocrite because that is one of the biggest weaknesses in my own marriage and I've made a commitment to destroy that weakness. Since that barrier to intimacy is on my mind, sure, I'm thinking a lot about how prayer can contribute to intimacy with my wife. Maybe it would help you, too.
Asbury Seedbed
Asbury Theological Seminary (my alma mater) has just introduced a new resource called Seedbed. Check out this initial post which are two videos, one from J.D. Walt and the other from President Timothy Tennent.
I'm really looking forward to the future of Seedbed.
The Preacher's Danger
C.S. Lewis, An Experiment in Criticism
This is what Bible reading has become for many of us and it is a soul killer. What does it profit a preacher to mine a bunch of alliterated sermon ideas yet forfeit the Word of life waiting for us if we would only linger?
I am thinking of unfortunate scholars in foreign universities who cannot 'hold down their jobs' unless they repeatedly publish articles each of which must say, or seem to say, something new about some literary work; or of overworked reviewers, getting through novel after novel as quickly as they can, like a schoolboy doing his 'prep'. For such people reading often becomes mere work. The text before them comes to exist not in its own right but simply as raw material; clay out of which they can complete their tale of bricks.
This is what Bible reading has become for many of us and it is a soul killer. What does it profit a preacher to mine a bunch of alliterated sermon ideas yet forfeit the Word of life waiting for us if we would only linger?
Christmas Eve
On Christmas Eve, before our candlelight service, I’m listening to the BBC broadcast A Festival of Nine Lessons and Carols. It's stuff like this that really makes me want to be an Anglican.
From the Bidding Prayer:
Merry Christmas!
From the Bidding Prayer:
And because this of all things would rejoice his heart, let us at this time remember in his name the poor and the helpless, the cold, the hungry and the oppressed; the sick in body and in mind and them that mourn; the lonely and the unloved; the aged and the little children; all who know not the Lord Jesus, or who love him not, or who by sin have grieved his heart of love.
Lastly let us remember before God all those who rejoice with us, but upon another shore and in a greater light, that multitude which no man can number, whose hope was in the Word made flesh, and with whom, in this Lord Jesus, we for evermore are one.
Service Sheet here
Via
Merry Christmas!
How Efficient is Your Bible Reading?
Hopefully, it's inefficient. Alastair is one of the smartest people I've never met and has played an important role in my Bible reading in the last few years by turning me onto some pretty amazing Bible teachers (even if they're Calvinists).
His post reminds me of a line from Alan Jacobs' book The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction:
His post reminds me of a line from Alan Jacobs' book The Pleasures of Reading in an Age of Distraction:
If most of us read too fast, most of us also read too many books and are unwisely reluctant to return to something we think we already know.
Sermon and Preaching Links
Here are some links I've gathered over the last few months about preaching and sermon preparation/development. If you have any others feel free to leave a comment so I can add them to my pinboard.
I'll Pray for You
The title of this post is probably one of the biggest lies told in the church. You're talking with someone who is in the middle of a rough season. She mentions that her grandson is having surgery on Wednesday. You say, "I'll pray for him." Wednesday comes and goes, you see this woman in the grocery store on Friday and think, "Oh no! I said I'd pray and I didn't! Jesus, please let this prayer for her grandson be retroactive. Amen!"
If you're wondering how I was able to take a peek into your past and see accurately it's because I've done it, too. I've had that sinking feeling of knowing I promised to pray but forgot to. I've even developed a habit of not even offering to pray in the future because I know I won't remember to pray even if I write it down.
Until now. Pastoral care, meet iOS 5.
I'm a shameless Apple shill. No doubt. I like things that have a low frustration factor and I can count my frustrating Apple moments on one hand.
But this isn't really about Apple. It's about how easy it is to set a reminder to pray for someone using iOS 5 with Reminders. There's probably always been some workaround to this, but I find Reminders incredibly easy. For instance, I promised to pray for some folks Saturday morning when I'll be out of town. In the past, I'd have a 98% chance of forgetting. This time, however, I set a Reminder for Saturday morning at 10AM.
Boom! Now I know I'll remember to pray.
If you're wondering how I was able to take a peek into your past and see accurately it's because I've done it, too. I've had that sinking feeling of knowing I promised to pray but forgot to. I've even developed a habit of not even offering to pray in the future because I know I won't remember to pray even if I write it down.
Until now. Pastoral care, meet iOS 5.
I'm a shameless Apple shill. No doubt. I like things that have a low frustration factor and I can count my frustrating Apple moments on one hand.
But this isn't really about Apple. It's about how easy it is to set a reminder to pray for someone using iOS 5 with Reminders. There's probably always been some workaround to this, but I find Reminders incredibly easy. For instance, I promised to pray for some folks Saturday morning when I'll be out of town. In the past, I'd have a 98% chance of forgetting. This time, however, I set a Reminder for Saturday morning at 10AM.
Boom! Now I know I'll remember to pray.
It Is Finished
For real.
O Death, Death, He is come.
O grounds of Hell make room.
Who came from further than the stars
Now comes as low beneath.
Thy ribbèd ports, O Death
Make wide; and Thou, O Lord of Sin,
Lay open thine estates
Lift up your heads, O Gates;
Be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors
The King of Glory will come in.
- Gerard Manley Hopkins
There's lots, lots more in his catalog. Lots.
O Death, Death, He is come.
O grounds of Hell make room.
Who came from further than the stars
Now comes as low beneath.
Thy ribbèd ports, O Death
Make wide; and Thou, O Lord of Sin,
Lay open thine estates
Lift up your heads, O Gates;
Be ye lift up, ye everlasting doors
The King of Glory will come in.
- Gerard Manley Hopkins
There's lots, lots more in his catalog. Lots.
It's 100 Degrees Outside
For a number of reasons I have neglected to write as often as I set out to when I restarted this blog. Mostly because, doggoneit, ministry has been hectic. Here’s three links while I try to polish up some things I’ve been writing and haven’t edited yet.
- The world lost a major voice in the proclamation of the Gospel yesterday. May we humbly and boldly pick up John Stott’s mantle.
- J.D. Walt on why spiritual disciplines often miss the point.
- My friend, Lenny Luchetti, has a book coming out next year on preaching. I can’t wait to read it and benefit from it’s wisdom.
For Future Reference
The Gospel Coalition is running a 5-part series on depression in the ministry. The first two are available and I'm going to link them here as well as the next three when they come out.
This is a very real issue and many times we pastors do not seek out the kind of confiding, accountable relationships that would be of great benefit to us for one reason or another. I'm convinced that many pastors slide into depression because we internalize so much and do not share it with anyone for one reason or another.
Part 1 by Paul Tripp (who looks like the older, Christian version of Ron Swanson)
Part 2 by Garrett Higbee
Part 3 by Steve Viars
This is a very real issue and many times we pastors do not seek out the kind of confiding, accountable relationships that would be of great benefit to us for one reason or another. I'm convinced that many pastors slide into depression because we internalize so much and do not share it with anyone for one reason or another.
Part 1 by Paul Tripp (who looks like the older, Christian version of Ron Swanson)
Part 2 by Garrett Higbee
Part 3 by Steve Viars
An Intro to My Great Struggle in Nouwen's Prologue
Moving from teaching university students to living with mentally handicapped people was, for me at least, a step toward the platform where the father embraces his kneeling son. It is the place where I so much want to be, but am so fearful of being. It is the place where I will receive all I desire, all that I ever hoped for, all that I will ever need, but it is also the place where I have to let go of all I most want to hold on to. It is the place that confronts me with the fact that truly accepting love, forgiveness, and healing is often much harder than giving it. It is the place beyond earning, deserving, and rewarding. It is the place of surrender and complete trust.
Henri Nouwen, The Return of the Prodigal Son (p. 13)
This guy knows. He knows the utter absurdity of trying - trying to control everything including how we approach God and what we receive from him.
It doesn't stop us from trying, though.
Some Thoughts Upon Reading The Lion, The Witch, and The Wardrobe to My Daughter
In the opening chapter of Umberto Eco's book Foucault's Pendulum, a young couple is described by the character Casaubon, having watched them barely breeze by an amazing piece of art and physics, like this: "A moment later the couple went off - he, trained on some textbook that had blunted his capacity for wonder, she, inert and insensitive to the thrill of the infinite, both oblivious of the awesomeness of their encoutner - their first and last encounter - with the One, the Ein-Sof, the Ineffable. How could you fail to kneel down before this altar of certitude?"
This is one of my very favorite sentences in the English language because it describes the way I and many others encounter God: our capacity for wonder blunted, inert and insensitive to the thrill of the Infinite.
O may I be like Lucy Pevensie!
"And Lucy felt running through her that deep shiver of gladness which you only get if you are being solemn and still."
This is one of my very favorite sentences in the English language because it describes the way I and many others encounter God: our capacity for wonder blunted, inert and insensitive to the thrill of the Infinite.
O may I be like Lucy Pevensie!
"And Lucy felt running through her that deep shiver of gladness which you only get if you are being solemn and still."
Annual Conference After Show
Thanks to Andy Ihnatko (yes, I spelled his last name from memory, thank you very much) from MacBreak Weekly, I finally have an iOS blogging client that doesn't make me want to injure myself or anyone else. His "pick of the week" on the show this week was an iPad app called Blogsy and it is fantastic. That takes me one step closer toward being able to abandon my computer for all but about 10% of my tasks (image & video editing, Skype, writing really long pieces, and desktop publishing).
Enough of the tech talk, though, for that is the subject of my other blog.
I returned last night from the Arkansas Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. It was a long week. The United Methodist Church meets every four years at General Conference and there we make decisions concerning the polity and structure of the whole church. Ou next General Conference is in 2012 so we elected delegates at our Annual Conference this year who will go next year. The clergy and laity groups each elect 6 delegates, 6 more delegates to Jurisdictional Conference (where new bishops are elected), and three alternates. In all, 30 people were elected in 3 days. This was my first time to vote as I wasn't eligible to vote last time because I hadn't yet been ordained.
OK, enough of the nerd talk, right? Actually, the voting was pretty important because it meant that we had to stay in the conference most of the time so that we wouldn't miss a ballot. I spent less time visiting with people this year than years past because of this. The Asbury Seminary alumni were pleased to host J.D. Walt for our alumni lunch. It was great to visit with him and to hear of some exciting things going on in the world of Wesleyan Methodism.
The Confessing Movement of Arkansas hosted Dr. Chris Bounds from Indiana Wesleyan University. Chris is a great guy and one of the smartest people I've ever met. It was great to catch up with him and hear him speak at both the CMA breakfast and on the floor of the Annual Conference.
We also passed a new and radical direction for our conference called Imagine Ministries. That was a significant deal and am proud of the work the IM team did and look forward to joining in their work for years to come.
Enough of the tech talk, though, for that is the subject of my other blog.
I returned last night from the Arkansas Annual Conference of the United Methodist Church. It was a long week. The United Methodist Church meets every four years at General Conference and there we make decisions concerning the polity and structure of the whole church. Ou next General Conference is in 2012 so we elected delegates at our Annual Conference this year who will go next year. The clergy and laity groups each elect 6 delegates, 6 more delegates to Jurisdictional Conference (where new bishops are elected), and three alternates. In all, 30 people were elected in 3 days. This was my first time to vote as I wasn't eligible to vote last time because I hadn't yet been ordained.
OK, enough of the nerd talk, right? Actually, the voting was pretty important because it meant that we had to stay in the conference most of the time so that we wouldn't miss a ballot. I spent less time visiting with people this year than years past because of this. The Asbury Seminary alumni were pleased to host J.D. Walt for our alumni lunch. It was great to visit with him and to hear of some exciting things going on in the world of Wesleyan Methodism.
The Confessing Movement of Arkansas hosted Dr. Chris Bounds from Indiana Wesleyan University. Chris is a great guy and one of the smartest people I've ever met. It was great to catch up with him and hear him speak at both the CMA breakfast and on the floor of the Annual Conference.
We also passed a new and radical direction for our conference called Imagine Ministries. That was a significant deal and am proud of the work the IM team did and look forward to joining in their work for years to come.
A Couple of Good Books
Finished two great books today.
The first is Robert Coleman’s The Master Plan of Evangelism. My copy of this book is the same age as I am to the month according to the title page. The book isn’t so much about what we think of in terms of evangelism today but about making disciples. This clearly involves evangelism but contains so much more. The book originally came out in 1963 and isn’t a gimmicky method for evangelism like many books one might read today on that subject. It is concerned with one thing: how did Jesus make disciples and how did he intend for the disciples to make disciples? It is nothing if not thoroughly biblical. That’s what Coleman relies on and what makes the book timeless.
The second is David McIntyre’s The Hidden Life of Prayer. I’ve been devouring books on prayer lately, and this one is good, but I have to admit that it was hard to read. First published in 1891, McIntyre’s style isn’t quite what I am used to and I didn’t labor over the sentences as much as I should have. Also, there are zero footnotes in a book that used quite a few quotations. I would really like to look at the primary sources but, alas, there’s no way for me to find many of them. Still, a very helpful book and one I’m sure I’ll come back to in the future.
The first is Robert Coleman’s The Master Plan of Evangelism. My copy of this book is the same age as I am to the month according to the title page. The book isn’t so much about what we think of in terms of evangelism today but about making disciples. This clearly involves evangelism but contains so much more. The book originally came out in 1963 and isn’t a gimmicky method for evangelism like many books one might read today on that subject. It is concerned with one thing: how did Jesus make disciples and how did he intend for the disciples to make disciples? It is nothing if not thoroughly biblical. That’s what Coleman relies on and what makes the book timeless.
The second is David McIntyre’s The Hidden Life of Prayer. I’ve been devouring books on prayer lately, and this one is good, but I have to admit that it was hard to read. First published in 1891, McIntyre’s style isn’t quite what I am used to and I didn’t labor over the sentences as much as I should have. Also, there are zero footnotes in a book that used quite a few quotations. I would really like to look at the primary sources but, alas, there’s no way for me to find many of them. Still, a very helpful book and one I’m sure I’ll come back to in the future.
Power Through Prayer
In the last three days these things have happened in my life:
(If that last thing seems strange to mention, I have a really hard time apologizing. I’m that wicked.)
So, what’s been going on? It seems like I’m surprised at these good things. I am, a little. What’s been going on is that I recently finished a book called Power Through Prayer by E.M. Bounds. More than anything, that little book is an indictment on prayerless preachers who work so hard to create power and strength in their ministries while neglecting the only true power in their lives - prayer. I have repented and have devoted more - much more - time to prayer than some of the other things that tend to crowd my attention during the day. You know what? God’s been working me over. And it is awesome. The Holy Spirit has moved me in each one of those bullet points. No joke. It’s one of those weird moments in life when I think, “Man, this rebuking by the Holy Spirit is hard and it hurts. Do it some more!” (If this keeps up I’m sure my wife and church will be saying, “Do it some more!”)
I’m not writing to brag but to give those of you who are experiencing prayerlessness either some encouragement or a kick in the pants. Especially you preachers who walk into the pulpit thinking that your three points are going to totally change someone’s life when you haven’t sought the one who is already at work in the lives of those who hear his word.
Here’s three links you can try on for size (You’re in luck if you’re a Kindle-user).
Complete Works of E.M. Bounds on Prayer
The Complete E.M. Bounds on Prayer - Kindle $3.99
Power Through Prayer - Kindle is $0.99!
- I left church on Sunday feeling neither high or low about the sermon I preached. I left confident in the Word of God and God’s power to work in the hearts of people. I was able to rest in that.
- I deleted a couple of tweets. I grew up thinking that giving someone a hard time was a way to show someone you liked them and appreciated them. That’s pretty dumb. About 20 minutes after posting them, I felt this impression in my heart not only to delete those tweets but to start paying attention to how I give people a hard time and to stop doing it. It honors no one.
- I apologized to my wife this morning. Yesterday, I was gruff with her for a moment in the middle of my yard work. It’s no way for a man to speak to his wife who just happens to be a daughter of God.
(If that last thing seems strange to mention, I have a really hard time apologizing. I’m that wicked.)
So, what’s been going on? It seems like I’m surprised at these good things. I am, a little. What’s been going on is that I recently finished a book called Power Through Prayer by E.M. Bounds. More than anything, that little book is an indictment on prayerless preachers who work so hard to create power and strength in their ministries while neglecting the only true power in their lives - prayer. I have repented and have devoted more - much more - time to prayer than some of the other things that tend to crowd my attention during the day. You know what? God’s been working me over. And it is awesome. The Holy Spirit has moved me in each one of those bullet points. No joke. It’s one of those weird moments in life when I think, “Man, this rebuking by the Holy Spirit is hard and it hurts. Do it some more!” (If this keeps up I’m sure my wife and church will be saying, “Do it some more!”)
I’m not writing to brag but to give those of you who are experiencing prayerlessness either some encouragement or a kick in the pants. Especially you preachers who walk into the pulpit thinking that your three points are going to totally change someone’s life when you haven’t sought the one who is already at work in the lives of those who hear his word.
Here’s three links you can try on for size (You’re in luck if you’re a Kindle-user).
Complete Works of E.M. Bounds on Prayer
The Complete E.M. Bounds on Prayer - Kindle $3.99
Power Through Prayer - Kindle is $0.99!
The Heavens Declare the Glory of God
The heavens declare the glory of God,
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)
One of the things that stirred my heart as a college student was a gift that a friend and fellow Wesley Foundation student gave me in my last semester of college. It was a tape of a plenary address that John Piper gave to the Evangelical Theological Society in 1998. Few ideas have stuck with me as much as his exhortation to those professors, that the greatest need in training the next generation of pastors and missionaries is "to know God and to find in him a Treasure more satisfying than any other person or thing or relationship or experience or accomplishment in the world."
I've had a copy of that message both in audio and in print for 12 years and it wasn't until recently that I listened to it again and gleaned another gem which has been a part of my spiritual life or growth or whatever you want to call it for the last few months.
Make that your prayer as you watch this video (via my friend Geoffrey who retweeted Alan Hirsch)
http://vimeo.com/22439234
and the sky above proclaims his handiwork. (Psalm 19:1)
One of the things that stirred my heart as a college student was a gift that a friend and fellow Wesley Foundation student gave me in my last semester of college. It was a tape of a plenary address that John Piper gave to the Evangelical Theological Society in 1998. Few ideas have stuck with me as much as his exhortation to those professors, that the greatest need in training the next generation of pastors and missionaries is "to know God and to find in him a Treasure more satisfying than any other person or thing or relationship or experience or accomplishment in the world."
I've had a copy of that message both in audio and in print for 12 years and it wasn't until recently that I listened to it again and gleaned another gem which has been a part of my spiritual life or growth or whatever you want to call it for the last few months.
Plead with God that he not leave you unmoved by the glories revealed every day in the sky and in the Scriptures.
Make that your prayer as you watch this video (via my friend Geoffrey who retweeted Alan Hirsch)
http://vimeo.com/22439234
The Head is Meant to Serve the Heart
I’m reading The Pastor as Scholar & The Scholar as Pastor right now and this quote from John Piper absolutely nails it:
O, yes! If theology doesn’t end up in worship, it’s a waste of time.
Right thinking about God exists to serve right feelings for God. Logic exists for the sake of love. Reasoning exists for the sake of rejoicing. Doctrine exists for the sake of delight. Reflection about God exists for the sake of delight. Reflection about God exists for the sake of affection for God. The head is meant to serve the heart.
O, yes! If theology doesn’t end up in worship, it’s a waste of time.
Links are What You Share
When you just haven't been able to finish a bunch of the stuff you've been working on. It took me nearly two months to write up - ever so briefly - my Acts 29 experience and it's been nearly a month since I attended the Gospel Coalition Conference in April so look for that in June.
Links I Liked Today:
That's just today. So far. I haven't even gone through Instapaper yet.
Links I Liked Today:
- Your Praise isn't the Boss of Me by Jared Wilson. Neither is your criticism, which is a hard, hard lesson for me to get.
- When the Church is a Mistress. We talked about this some yesterday. I didn't get it. I do now.
- And on a similar note. You'd think that after 10 years of marriage and 34 years of life I'd know a thing or two about picking up after myself - both literally and figuratively. You'd be wrong.
- Good advice from Mark Beeson.
That's just today. So far. I haven't even gone through Instapaper yet.
Seminary on your iPhone
My late-friend, Michael Spencer, used to promote The Theology Program on his website and podcast. I never checked it out because, hey, I have a Masters of Divinity and after four years of seminary why would I need something like this? Oh, brother. I've since discovered that if I want theological stimulation, I'm going to have to seek it out and books just aren't enough to keep me sharp.
The price of The Theology Program was a little too steep for me. Until now. They have just released an iPhone app for $6.99 which contains 60 hours of theological training, 1200 slides and 1800 pages of workbooks. On your iPhone. That is simply incredible and a heck of a deal.
I would encourage all of our lay people to try this out. You won't agree with all of the perspectives (indeed, you shouldn't) but if you're willing to think and process, this will be a very valuable tool in thinking theologically. I've already downloaded and am looking forward to giving it a shot.
The price of The Theology Program was a little too steep for me. Until now. They have just released an iPhone app for $6.99 which contains 60 hours of theological training, 1200 slides and 1800 pages of workbooks. On your iPhone. That is simply incredible and a heck of a deal.
I would encourage all of our lay people to try this out. You won't agree with all of the perspectives (indeed, you shouldn't) but if you're willing to think and process, this will be a very valuable tool in thinking theologically. I've already downloaded and am looking forward to giving it a shot.