Nourishing Mother
When I left home last week, my lawn was a mess. A dry brown mess. It almost looks like the roots of the grass are coming out of the ground looking for water. It's a perfect picture of what my heart has looked like for a while. What my lawn needs is what my soul needs: water and reseeding. I'm getting both during my time back at Asbury Seminary.
One of the greatest gifts that I have received in the Beeson Program has been the opportunity to come back to Wilmore, KY. When I graduated from Asbury Theological Seminary in 2003, I didn't waste any time getting the moving van loaded up and down the road. I was ready to start a new phase in life and ministry and I didn't look back much at all. I came back for two Ministry Conferences (2004 and 2006) but I used those primarily as an opportunity to visit and spend time with my good friends, the Houks. I didn't really miss anything but the friends.
Something happened in the intervening years that has made this trip very different. I've found myself in need of water for my parched soul. Not the clean, pure water I prefer to drink out of bottles but flowing rivers of living water from the one who gives when we ask. I've been looking to myself for so much: needs, wants, success, spiritual depth and a bunch of stuff I can't even list. I've completely deluded myself into believing that I can provide what only Jesus can give. The woman at the well in John 4 tells Jesus he doesn't have anything to get the water out of the well; it's like she's saying "Jesus, you don't have the tools to give me what I need." How often I have treated Jesus like he doesn't have the tools or the ability to give me what I need. Here in Wilmore, I'm constantly reminded of the sufficiency of Jesus and those reminders are stripping me of my self-reliance. It's hard. It's painful. But thank God who waters and refreshes his people!
Not only do I need the living water Jesus talked about, I'm also in need of reseeding. I've been told that later in the fall, when we get more rain (please, God!) it will be a good time to plant seed that will help regrow the grass in our yard. Dry, hard ground destroys growth and once the rain comes it's important to seed and fertilize for good growth. For the fruit of the ministry to grow, I need to reconnect with Jesus, the Bible, and the rich depth of Wesleyan theology and praxis. The books, conversations, prayer, worship, and even the walks have been scattering these seeds within me (speaking of seeds and reseeding, have you checked out the Seedbed?).
To stretch the metaphor a bit further, for a lawn to be really healthy you've got to get rid of the weeds. I've also had a time here of reflecting on the reading and the lectures that have exposed some weeds in my spiritual life and my vocation as a pastor. I'm not usually fond of that kind of self-reflection, but if I'm going to be the Christian and pastor I know God desires me to be, I've got to pull those weeds by God's power and his grace. I praise God that he has not only brought me here but also that he has matured me to a place where I can deal with those weeds. It's humbling but deeply grace-filled.
I'm amazed at how this has come together in such a short period of time. There is an intensity of spirit here among our group and in this community that has been exactly what I need. I don't think I ever realized how badly my heart was in need of repair until I stepped onto campus this time. I've been to a few different schools in my lifetime, but Asbury is truly my alma mater.
Wrecking My Cynicism
I don't know where it started or even why, but I've been cynical about group projects, events, and experiences for a long time. What I mean by that is I have a hard time jumping into group activities, especially team-building exercises because I expect the group to let me down at some point. Being cynical and even a bit sarcastic about group activities has become a way of life for me which makes it a bit difficult to get to know people. It also means I've missed out on some pretty special moments in the past.
During the last four days of this Beeson experience I've had my cynicism wrecked in a way I was not anticipating.
I came back to Asbury with a call to do this program. It wasn't something I initially wanted to do but I sensed God's hand in the process and knew I had to be obedient. So, I left home and came here with a desire not only to do well with the program but to connect deeply with my spiritual home (which is the subject of another post). A desire to connect with my classmates? Well, you know, I have friends. Friends I connect with one on one. I don't need a group.
Except that I do. Except that God knows what I need better than I do.
I'm still having trouble putting words to what I've experienced with the group of Beeson pastors I'm on the journey with. They make my cynicism melt. I know the academic portion of this program will be great, but I already know that as of today, August 2, 2012, we will finish it together. As brothers and sisters in Christ. As fellow disciples who will not let any one slip away. Where, O cynicism, is thy sting? That's after four days. Four.
The picture above will be a symbol for me of our willingness to love, serve, and protect one another. We gathered in an, um, undisclosed location last night that was very dark. We lit a candle, sang together and prayed together. The Spirit was at work in those moments, destroying my cynicism. The Spirit has done a pretty miraculous thing in my heart already and I am grateful and expectant. Thanks be to God.
Back in the Saddle
I arrived on campus at Asbury Seminary on Sunday night to begin a new chapter in life and ministry as a Beeson Pastor. I will be on campus for a total of twenty-six days which is a very long time to be away from my family, but they have blessed me by sending me here and I'm deeply grateful.
The first couple of days have been primarily reorienting myself with Asbury. I graduated in 2003 with my Master of Divinity and have returned twice for Asbury's Ministry conference in 2004 and 2006. So, it's been six years since I've been on campus and while many changes have taken place it still feels like my spiritual home. This morning, my fellow pastors and I took part in a chapel service in the Beeson Center. I got to pray for my church and my family with a couple of other people and it was electric - just as I'd remembered feeling while a student here many years ago! I'm really looking forward to more opportunities like that in the weeks to come.
Over the next couple of days, aside from my classes, I'm going to get a chance to visit the new Ministry Center at the Francis Asbury Society, visit with one of my favorite professors and people of all time, and I have the privilege of serving as the Celebrant at a communion service here on campus. I can't tell you what that means to me. I have relished the opportunity to come back and serve my school in this way as an elder. Asbury invested so much in the fulfillment of my calling I feel like it's a small way of saying, "Thank you."
I'm going to continue to post updates as the days pass. I hope you will pray for me and my family!
Bishop Bledsoe Appeals
Can't say that I'm surprised. I think all the options should be exhausted in this case. Bishop or not, these are very serious charges and I would hope that no stone would be left unturned for any elder.
Arkansas United Methodists' New Bishop
United Methodists in Arkansas will soon welcome the Rev. Gary Mueller as the new bishop of the Arkansas Conference of the United Methodist Church. The Rev. Mueller was elected as a bishop last week at our Jurisdictional Conference in Oklahoma City, OK and was appointed to the Arkansas Area by the episcopacy committee. The announcement was made late Friday. I stayed up past my bedtime to watch the announcement through a live-stream.
We look forward to serving under Bishop Mueller. You can read a short article about him by clicking the title. My favorite part was this quote from the Bishop: "You start with the basics, and that’s Jesus and get the congregation to fall in love with Jesus and get excited about sharing Jesus." Amen!
Give Us This Day
For the last few mornings, I've been trying out something I taught to a group of people in May. When I pray, I pray the Lord's Prayerand pause between the words and sentences to reflect and pray specifically for the particulars. For instance, when I pray, "forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us" I ask God to reveal in my heart the people I have not forgiven or people I am hard-hearted toward so that I may repent. Praying in this way has been a great experience for me and I hope that it continues to deepen my fellowship with God.
The part of the Lord's Prayer that has tripped me up during the last couple of mornings is "Give us this day our daily bread." I confess: I don't trust God for my daily sustenence. I have never wondered when and where my next meal would come from. I'm not bragging. It is the reality for a middle-class white American.
I'm afraid it is killing my soul.
It's killing my soul because it makes my ability to provide all the things I want and need a functional idol. "You shall have no other gods before me." Well, guess what? I've got a pretty sweet looking image of myself imprinted on my heart because oftentimes I trust in me more than I trust in God. I feel stupid for having written that, but it is a confession.
I have not asked God to put me in a position to find food on a daily basis - I'm still too comfortable for that. I am asking God to keep me from being lulled into believing that I can handle some stuff in life and God will handle the rest. Have I ever felt completely dependent upon God for everything? Have you? I feel that must be a terrifying territory to live in but one a part of me really wants to know. The intimacy must be amazing. The selflessness must be liberating. The ability to love others with no fear or anxiety must be what we have been designed for.
I don't know about you, but I'm praying just a little bit more everyday to know the joy of completely depending upon God. The break-up of my relationship with myself is sure to be painful, but more of Jesus and less of me is good for the world.
Asbury Seedbed
I know I've written about this before, but I want to make another plug for the Seedbed at Asbury Seminary. In just a few short months this site has grown into such a fantastic resource for the church and the Wesleyan world in particular.
We are using the Echo catechism with our 7 year old daughter and I am amazed at how quickly she's picking up on the answers and also the depth of the questions she's asking. In addition to this resource, there are some unbelieveable free ebooks available. If you think the free ones are great, you'll want to check out the other books that are priced in a way that will leave you checking back regularly for deals. I've linked the store in the title so you can go straight there.
Don't miss the great article content, either. Second Breakfast? Oh my, I'd rather eat the wisdom of the church first and have food for my second breakfast.
I'm so very proud of my seminary alma mater for their work and contribution to the ministry of the church. I hope you will check them out.
Two Things That Make You Change Your Behaviour [sic]
A great article by my friend Sam. I'll tell you why it is great and why you should read it: 1) It has a professional cycling link and cycling is awesome 2) It's so true yet so difficult for many of us to live day after day. No one likes suffering and few of us can keep our eyes on the reward day after day.
There are lots of applications for discipleship here, too. Have we encountered Jesus in such a way as to know what a great reward he is? Is getting more of Jesus enough to battle through the present sufferings of this life as we make the hard choices to follow him?
Go read and reflect!
It Was a Holy Mess
Probably one of the best summaries of our South Central Jurisdictional Conference last week.
Calling
We've been having a really interesting discussion about pastoral ministry and calling over at the BHT for the last day or so. Calling does seem like such a subjective thing but it really is powerful when a body of people affirm that calling. I wrote a short testimony of that experience over there.
Here's a great resource on calling from the Asbury Seedbed.
Summertime
There is so much going on this summer. I'm excited and a little scared. I'm preaching on whole books this summer starting this Sunday with Genesis. Yep. The whole book of Genesis in 20 minutes. I haven't been this excited about a sermon in a long time. I think the excitement comes from having the opportunity to show people that the Old Testament is a boring prelude to the New Testament but a vital piece to understanding just how awesomely unbelievable God is and how we don't have to flip pages until we get to Matthew to see Jesus. Stephen Covey said to begin with the end in mind in his best-selling book and that's what I get to do in Genesis. Exciting, I tell you!
Today I launched a new newsletter for the church that I had a blast planning out and designing. Still need a good name for it, but it was fun to write nonetheless.
I'm starting a DMin program called Beeson Pastor Program in August. Well, technically I've already started. I had 16 weeks to read 19 required books. I'm on my way toward completion and I've got two classes I'm taking from July 29-August 24. Can't wait.
Focus
I have a hard time with focus. It really bothers me. Not focusing means details and commitments fall through the cracks. I can't count the number of times I've disappointed people, even in the last week, because I'll say, "I'll do that.", yet forget to do what I said I would do. Or, worse, let it keep dropping to the bottom of the list.
I'm committing myself to greater focus. More than that, I'm committing myself more to Jesus because he never disappoints. One of the ways I'm doing both is by keeping reminders of what's most important in my desk: Word, water, and table. "Take ye authority to preach the word." "Baptizing them in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit." "Do this in remembrance of me."
Growing in Prayer
I started teaching on some basic matters of discipleship last night and we began with prayer. I'm attaching the notes I wrote up below the fold for those who are interested.
Why pray?
Communicaiton is the most important aspect of any relationship. Prayer is how we communicate with God.
The more we communicate, the more we value what God values and when that happens we start making choices and living more like God in Jesus Christ lived. In order to do this we must abide or remain attached to Jesus in prayer:
John 15:1 (CEB)
“I am the true vine, and my Father is the vineyard keeper. 2 He removes any of my branches that don’t produce fruit, and he trims any branch that produces fruit so that it will produce even more fruit. 3 You are already trimmed because of the word I have spoken to you. 4 Remain in me, and I will remain in you. A branch can’t produce fruit by itself, but must remain in the vine. Likewise, you can’t produce fruit unless you remain in me. 5 I am the vine; you are the branches. If you remain in me and I in you, then you will produce much fruit. Without me, you can’t do anything. 6 If you don’t remain in me, you will be like a branch that is thrown out and dries up. Those branches are gathered up, thrown into a fire, and burned. 7 If you remain in me and my words remain in you, ask for whatever you want and it will be done for you.
μένω - abide, remain, stay. How does a person become a disciple or an apprentice of another person? By staying close. If we want to be a disciple of Jesus we must stay close to him and there's no way to stay close to Jesus that doesn't involve prayer. We must pray.
How many of you feel like you have arrived in prayer? That it's like breathing to you?
Me too. There's a danger in telling people you're going to teach them to pray and that danger is that you shouldn't come off like you know very much yourself. We are all pilgrims and beginners in prayer. A seminary degree means you've completed coursework, not that you know how to pray. Maxie Dunnam writes in his Workbook on Intercessory Prayer, "Emphasis is on growth, not perfection." We're going to emphasize daily, constant growth.
Maxie also says that we learn to pray by praying. Amazing. We're going to spend sometime tonight praying. I'm not going to ask you to pray out loud but I'm going to just to model my limited understanding.
Luke 11:1
Jesus was praying in a certain place. When he finished, one of his disciples said, “Lord, teach us to pray, just as John taught his disciples.”
Jesus was praying and his disciples wanted to know how to pray, so he showed them with the Lord's Prayer. In Matthew 6:5-14, Jesus is preaching the sermon on the mount and says several things about prayer. If we want to pray then we should look to Jesus and learn to pray the way he did it.
Matt. 6:5
“When you pray, don’t be like hypocrites. They love to pray standing in the synagogues and on the street corners so that people will see them. I assure you, that’s the only reward they’ll get. 6 But when you pray, go to your room, shut the door, and pray to your Father who is present in that secret place. Your Father who sees what you do in secret will reward you.
When you pray, don't put on a show.
Matt. 6:7
“When you pray, don’t pour out a flood of empty words, as the Gentiles do. They think that by saying many words they’ll be heard.
Don't babble or heap up empty phrases.
8
Don’t be like them, because your Father knows what you need before you ask.
Remember, God knows you better than you do and knows what you need. This ought to be of great comfort to us.
9
Pray like this:
Not, pray only this, but pray like this. It's a prayer but it's also a pattern. Let's look at it more closely.
9b
Our Father who is in heaven,
uphold the holiness of your name.
Recognize God's sovereignty and holiness.
Matt. 6:10
Bring in your kingdom
so that your will is done on earth as it’s done in heaven.
Recognize that God's rule is preferable to our control.
Matt. 6:11
Give us the bread we need for today.
Provide for me - God is the source of all our sustenence. Remember, Maslow's heirarchy of needs. Basics are breathing, food, water, etc. Then safety, then love and belonging, then respect, and on down. We don't live in a time and culture in which we need the basic levels of needs, but we need safety, love, and all that. So it might be that we need to pray for that which we cannot provide for ourselves - that which is outside of our control.
Matt. 6:12
Forgive us for the ways we have wronged you,
just as we also forgive those who have wronged us.
Forgive us and help us to forgive others. Hard, hard, hard. Peter Kreeft says "Do you realize that everytime you pray the Lord's Prayer you're asking him to damn you to hell if you don't forgive others?" We must keep our hearts free from bitterness and unforgiveness.
Matt. 6:13
And don’t lead us into temptation,
but rescue us from the evil one.
Keep us from temptation and evil. Notice he doesn't say "harm" or "evil that other people do to us." Keep our souls, more or less.
Remember, "Emphasis is on growth, not on perfection." Persistence is the key.
Luke 18:1
Jesus was telling them a parable about their need to pray continuously and not to be discouraged. 2 He said, “In a certain city there was a judge who neither feared God nor respected people. 3 In that city there was a widow who kept coming to him, asking, ‘Give me justice in this case against my adversary.’ 4 For a while he refused but finally said to himself, I don’t fear God or respect people, 5 but I will give this widow justice because she keeps bothering me. Otherwise, there will be no end to her coming here and embarrassing me.” 6 The Lord said, “Listen to what the unjust judge says. 7 Won’t God provide justice to his chosen people who cry out to him day and night? Will he be slow to help them? 8 I tell you, he will give them justice quickly. But when the Human One comes, will he find faithfulness on earth?”
E.M. Bounds
He who fritters away the early morning, its opportunity and freshness, in other pursuits than seeking God will make poor headway seeking him the rest of the day. If God is not first in our thoughts and efforts in the morning, he will be in the last place the remainder of the day.
Mark 1:35
Early in the morning, well before sunrise, Jesus rose and went to a deserted place where he could be alone in prayer.
Let’s give is a shot. With persistence, let’s pray like this:
- Recognize God’s sovereignty and holiness.
- Recognize God’s rule and that it is preferable to our control.
- Provide for me - God is the source of everything we need to be sustained.
- Forgive me and help me forgive.
- Keep me from temptation and evil.
Then, intercede.
James 5:13
If any of you are suffering, they should pray. If any of you are happy, they should sing. 14 If any of you are sick, they should call for the elders of the church, and the elders should pray over them, anointing them with oil in the name of the Lord.
Creeds and Confessions
Add this to my list of reasons for why I am thrilled to have Tim Tennent as the president of Asbury Theological Seminary. Admittedly, I haven't done any thinking at all regarding the use of creeds, confessions, and affirmations in worship. When I arrived at my current appointment four years ago, the church did not employ creeds, confessions, or affirmations but I wanted to make sure we did in our traditional worship service. I started a rotation that would begin at UMH 800 - the Nicene Creed and would go to UMH 889 - Affirmation from I Timothy 2:5-6; 1:15; 3:16. My rotation skips the Statement of Faith of the United Church of Canada and The World Methodist Social Affirmation. Dr. Tennent has made me rethink my pattern.
I'll add that the most important thing that this post has illuminated for me is how uncritically I've led worship and planned the elements of worship. I mean, for crying out loud, I've not even noticed that the Confession from the Korean Methodist Church or the Modern Affirmation lack statements about the crucifixion and resurrection! I've been saying these creeds since I was a kid and they don't mention the two most important pieces of the gospel proclamation.
Thanks, Dr. Tennent, for helping me to pay attention.
Good Friday
I got all my stuff migrated over to Hover and Squarespace this morning and am loving the new setup. Great companies.
It is Good Friday and, as someone wrote on Twitter, the entire state of Arkansas is talking about a sin instead of the Savior who came to free us from the penalty and power of sin in our lives. May we all look to Christ for our forgiveness and salvation.
For today, it really would be worth your time and attention to read this wonderfully written account of the crucifixion from the perspective of the centurion who said, "Truly, this is the Son of God." It was written by a seminary classmate and is creative and moving.
Sunday's coming!
New Digs
I'm moving my domain to Hover.com (who are awesome) and my hosting to Squarespace (again, awesome). If you're keeping track, most of this is a result of what I've heard on This Week in Tech, MacBreak Weekly, and Back to Work.
Enough with the commericals.
It'll take a couple of days for everything to work over, so.
Separation of Church and Property
This is one of the most interesting stories I've read this week. Get Religion is a great site and I highly recommend it. It's especially important for us United Methodists to understand how these rulings play out given the events in Ohio during the last couple of years and the specter of a church split that's been hovering over General Conference ever since the "amicable separation" was brought up eight years ago.
Indeed
I have a bit of a Mike Breen man-crush at the moment. I've begun to read Building a Discipling Culture (Kindle Version) and read this very early on:
The problem is that most of us have been educated and trained to build, serve and lead the organization of the church. Most of us have actually never been trained to make disciples. Seminary degrees, church classes and training seminars teach us to grow our volunteer base, form system and organizational structures or preach sermons on Sunday mornings and assimilate newcomers from the Sunday service. As we look around as Christendom is crumbling and the landscape of the church is forever changed, a stark revelation emerges: Most of us have been trained and educated for a world that no longer exists.
However, the call to make disciples still remains. It never wavers and never changes.
Breen, Mike (2011-08-16). Building a Discipling Culture (Kindle Locations 94-99). 3DM. Kindle Edition.
(Emphasis mine) I bear the marks of that kind of education as I try to lead and make disciples within the church I lead and the community in which I live. Seminary was great but one thing I've noticed about post-seminary life (I graduated 9 years ago) is that putting all the pieces together is up to me and there were several classes that I took that were out of date as soon as class was over (not to mention dreadful for an introvert like me. Walk up to three random strangers to talk to them about Jesus for an evangelism class? Ugh).
Churches and denominations shouldn't require a Master of Divinity anymore. If they're going to require a masters level education at all it ought to be more like a Master of Missiology. How else are we going to make disciples in an ever-changing world?
How Artists Do Theology
Written by a seminary classmate of mine. Out of my own neurosis which has grown out of C.S. Lewis' An Experiment in Criticism I've not paid much attention to the visual arts (those of you who have read the book will understand) but this wonderful post gives me a desire to give this kind of art a shot.
Maybe I'll go do some theological thinking at Crystal Bridges.
Glorious Relief
I've always scored a very strong "I" in the Meyers-Briggs Inventory which means I am an introvert. My wife has never been able to understand why I was never embarrassed to eat alone in a restaurant or go to the movies by myself. Most of the time, I prefer to read a book over going out with other people. When I attended the Acts 29 Bootcamp in Dallas last March, Matt Chandler directed us to pray together in groups of 3 or 4. I immediately dropped my head in prayer and hoped no one would ask me to join them. When I attended our conference's Connected in Christ program for a total of four weeks over two years, I always went to my room as soon as evening worship was over rather than hanging out with the rest of the group.
I've been called anti-social but, thankfully, Susan Cain has pointed out that I'm "differently social" and so are all the other introverts in the world and the church. I just picked up Cain's book Quiet and am looking forward to reading the rest of it.
If you're interested in reading a little bit more about introverts, check out this post by Alastair Roberts. He is a very sharp thinker and shares a bit about his own life of introversion as well.
I for one look forward to one day meeting Alastair so that we can shake hands and then read quietly together.